I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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