why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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