I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
