to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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