I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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