I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
