White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
