People with herpes should wear stickers.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
