Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize