Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
