if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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