I molested 6 butterflies tonight
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
