I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
