party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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