I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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