So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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