When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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