i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize