I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize