fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
