honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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