During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize