Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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