dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
