The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
