It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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