Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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