I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize