There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
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After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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