Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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