And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize