The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
