The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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