just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
