im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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