Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
