tell your sister to shave her snatch
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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