Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
