The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize