we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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