Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
