just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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