Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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