Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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