I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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