I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
