okay pat passed out under dana's car
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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