There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
