I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
