Walk of Shame. In a state park.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
