brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm going to jail i love you
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
