Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
