And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
