Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize