Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
