he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
