Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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