lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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