so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
