I puked a lego.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
