Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
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Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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