Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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