piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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