I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
