So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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